Do they bottle pregnancy hormones?

I would seriously buy some. My body is completely out of whack now, just as it was beforehand. As my OB says, my body prefers to be pregnant. This is why it tries to torture me when I'm not and rejects all birth control. Blah. I feel miserable right now.

1. I have a cold. Yuck. This has caused me to be stopped up, of course, but it's also made my nose all dry, chapped, and bleeding from having to be blown so dang much.

2. My ear is clogged. I went to the doctor today and, apparently, I have a hardcore blockage on my eardrum. Gross. They don't have to tools, so I'm off to a ear, nose, and throat specialist. Great joy. There may even be an ear infection under there since it's so inflamed! Again, great joy.

3. I have a sty under my right eye.

4. My hair is gross.

5. My skin is awful looking- pimples all over the dang place. Even worse, I have ingrown hairs on the nape of my neck. I know, disgusting.

I am in no way ready for another child or even thinking about it, nor do I really want to be pregnant again right now. I would love to have those hormones, though, so that I can have a normal body again. Sigh.