In Awe

Everyone tells you that you can never truly understand what love is until you have a child. It really is so true. I love my husband, but there is just something different when it is your own flesh and blood. When I was pregnant, Jony and I used to sit and cuddle/play with our dog, Coco, while saying how hard it would be to love a child more than we love her. We knew that we would, but it was just so hard to even imagine. Now, I swear I can feel my heart swell up with pure joy whenever I look at him. I can be so tired in the morning and really not enjoy having to get out of bed, and then he smiles at me- so happy to see his mommy. Nothing could ever prepare you for how much love you feel at that moment. As his little personality develops (should I even say that it's his? He's EXACTLY the same as his father...), I fall in love with him even more. I can honestly say that I can't imagine loving him more than I do right now, but I know that I will. Tomorrow. Or even when he wakes up from his nap. Every time he eats and his little arm is flailing all about looking for something to hold. When he puts his hands behind his head during a diaper change as though he's saying "That's right. Do it for me. I'm in control." When he looks at me, smiles, and then lets out the biggest shriek ever. And on and on and on...

It also makes me wonder how I could possibly have room to love another child as much as I love him. I know I will, although I won't understand it until he/she is in my arms.