Mommy Guilt

That crap is real, and it sucks.

I've always been one to aim towards as minimal TV as possible. Jeffrey has loads of awesome toys that encourage creativity, problem solving and fun times. We're not into electronic toys, although we do have a couple. Jeffrey loves his toys and can entertain himself for hours with that stuff. However, when the pregnancy exhaustion swooped in, the TV stayed on to catch any stray moments of boredom that I just didn't have the energy to deal with. Thinking it would only be a short while, I was okay with this. I didn't really have a choice, anyways, seeing as how I'd fall asleep sitting up. It's been over 6 months, though, and that freaking exhaustion is still in play. Frustrating when I know I'm getting enough rest. Most days, we're out and about all morning, so that's not an issue. I can thrive off the energy of other people. Days like today when we have no plans? Those days make me feel bad. I can't help but pass out on the couch with the TV on (thank goodness for Nick Jr) while Jeffrey does his thing. There's no way this pregnancy would be successful if he wasn't so independent, so I'm super thankful for that. I know that he still needs that interaction with me, though. I've been pretty good lately at having a craft to do each day so that he has at least 30 minutes of quality time with me where he's growing and learning through something he doesn't get to do all the time. That's been helping me feel a lot better about it all; that boy LOVES his crafts and gets so proud of himself.

I just wish I was able to be the kind of mom that I used to be, especially since these are our last few months of just the two of us. Not that he'd let me play with him anyways, but at least I could be doing stuff around the house! At least I'm trying, I suppose!