Friday, October 31, 2008

BOO!

I've been fairly busy lately watching my niece a lot. My brother-in-law is in a time crunch trying to finish his flight hours for his pilot's license before he has to go to CA to take some safety test of some sorts, so I've basically been her nanny the past week and will do the same next week. I'll actually be heading over there in a few hours. It's really helped solidify our bond of being best friends. I'm by far the favorite aunt. :) 

Last night, we finalized the pre-approval process, so we're a go on house shopping! I'm so excited! These past few days have just gone so amazingly that I fear something bad is around the corner. It's a ridiculous thought, I know, but I still worry. 

As for babymaking, it's been a dry month. So, that sucks. We're still TTA, though, and now that I'm able to have sex again (had to wait at least a week after colposcopy), I'm in my fertile time. My chart is horrific looking this month though, so who knows?!? I'm not ready to have sex yet, either, however. We're going to wait until we see the doctor for my follow up on wednesday to make sure that my cervix has healed correctly and then move forward from there. I'm so nervous in all matters concerning my reproductive system. I do know that J is ready. Poor guy. He's been so supportive with all of this, and I owe him a good time next weekend for sure. 

We're heading back up to our college town for the weekend to support one of J's good friends in his senior recital. I should be able to keep temping this time, which is good since it's around O time and I've been having some EWCM. No big plans for Halloween- just driving.

Happy Halloween!

Stats:
-CD 20: a temp rise, but nothing to be excited about. This was the CD that I ovulated on last cycle (which had a MUCH prettier chart)
-61 days until we're TTC!
-5 days until the follow-up appointment

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A GREAT Day

I broke down and called the doctor today to see what my results were. I just couldn't handle the waiting game any longer. The verdict: chronic inflammation. YAY! I would guess that blasted NuvaRing did it since it corresponds perfectly. Good thing we're TTC soon, and I don't have to insert any more hormones into my body. BCPs always made me really sick, depressed, etc. I truly believe I was just not cut out for hormonal birth control. My trusty BBT thermometer will forever be my side from now on. 

In other great news from today, we got pre-approved for a mortgage! We'll meet sometime soon to finalize it all, and then we'll be on a serious look-out for houses. I also have been hanging out (babysitting) my nice a good bit: yesterday, today, quite possible tomorrow, and on friday. I love it. She fights J for my favorite person in the world- it is and will always be a constant battle. I just hope to add some more contenders someday (my own children).

Today= awesome

Stats:
-CD 18: heading back up to normal tempts (they've been super low) and some EWCM, so possible getting ready to O
-63 days until we're TTC!
-7 days until our follow up appointment, which is now just to discuss actions to end the inflammation and to make sure my cervix healed properly from the biopsies.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Homecoming

This past weekend, J and I headed up to our little small college town for homecoming! It was so fun seeing the city, the old friends, and enjoying the homecoming festivities! It really helped me keep my mind off of waiting for my results, too (except that I was still spotting- blah). We were sleeping on the floor in our friends' apartment with someone else on the couch, though, so I didn't get to take my temperature. I didn't want to wake him up. I figured that it's only 2 days. My temperature this morning was still low, so I don't think it was too much of a big deal. We're not TTC this month, and we haven't been able to have sex due to my procedure for the last week, so it wouldn't have been a big deal anyways. 

Today's good news: 1) No phone call from the doctor, so the results might mean nothing! I'm still giving it a few days, though. 2) I think I may be done spotting! YAY! Only time will tell...

Stats:
-CD 16: possibly/possibly not still spotting due to colposcopy
-65 days until we're TTC!
-9 days until the follow up appointment!

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Day Off

Since I actually had to work today (I'm a substitute), it gave me a day off from thinking so much about my darn cervix. It was definitly a good thing. Now, as I remember it (still spotting), I feel much stronger about the whole situation. Maybe it's just that time has passed or maybe I'm just starting to cope with the idea, but I feel like I'm in a better place. Granted, I still wish I knew exactly what was up, but I feel like I can fight it, whatever "it" might be. I've done my research and thought and thought about it as much as possible, and I'm ready to go for it. They say that everything that happens to you and that you go through is for a reason, and it's never something that you can't handle. I guess that's right. I'm definitly going to be more vocal about getting annual pap smears and taking care of yourself appropriately- maybe I'll help someone else along the way because of that. Whatever happens, I can handle it. 

Stats:
-CD 13: colposcopy spotting (ugh) and a HUGE dip (pre-O??)
-68 days until we're TTC
-12 days until our follow-up appointment

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I should be paid

I feel like I'm single-handedly keeping the pad/tampon companies alive. I mean, seriously, I've only had three days period/spotting free! Darn colposcopy. I haven't been spotting too much today, but spotting it is. Hopefully it'll all be over soon. On a similar note, I hate pads. I'm a 100% tampon girl, but I haven't felt comfortable using it after my procedure. The thought of something else going all up in there right now is not a good one. I'm not feeling any pain or discomfort today, so that's a good thing. I'm ready to hear the results, though!! I did some research on cryotherapy (where they freeze off the abnormal cells in the cervix) and, while it seems like it's not painful, it has the potential to seriously hurt your chances of getting pregnant. Ugh. Like I need that. 

Random note: The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (don't laugh- it's a big deal here, and it's awesome) announced four of the performers: Rascall Flatts, Brad Paisley, The Jonas Brothers, and Taylor Swift. I'm only kinda excited about Taylor Swift. Now, I have to wait until January for the rest of the performers. I'm hoping Martina McBride comes back again, since J and I haven't been able to see her in years!

Stats:
-CD 11: spotting due to colposcopy
-70 days until we're TTC
-14 days until our follow up with the doctor

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Waiting Game

It's finally over. I had my colposcopy this afternoon. I can't say that it was the greatest thing I've ever done, but it wasn't too horrible. My doctor told me that it was probably nothing, but he wanted to make sure. I had a biopsy done on two spots, which was definitly the worst part. It didn't really hurt hurt, but it was an uncomfortable pain. J was able to go with me, and I'm so glad. I don't think I could have done that alone. He wasn't able to comfort me in the way that we had both planned, however, but he did a great job at distracting me and making me worry about him instead of what was happening with me. He made the mistake of looking at the tool that they use to perform the biopsy, so that, along with all of the emotions and knowledge of what they were going to do to me, caused him to faint. All of the sudden, he let go of my hand and there was this huge thud behind me. Of course, I couldn't see him. He got up a few seconds later with a slightly bloody chin and some scrapes, but he's okay. I'm still worried about a concussion, but he sits here playing a video game, so I suppose he's fine. The fainting incident and the fact that some of the biopsy things weren't cooperating made the procedure go a little longer than normal, but it's all over now. Thank god. J and I hung out in the room for about 20 minutes with the nurses taking care of us until we were both back to normal (I got faint after it was over- losing blood and such). J had gotten faint again when they said that I would have to wear a pad- brought it all back to this mind. Poor thing. We have an appointment scheduled in 2 weeks to go over the results and perform a freezing procedure if the results come back positive for cervical cancer. I should be getting a call sometime early next week if those results come back, though, so I can prepare a little bit. 

We hadn't told anybody anything since we were hoping he would see, through the colposcopy, that there was nothing, and it wouldn't have been a big deal. Since there's something, though, however obsolete it might end up being, we went to my parent's house afterwards and informed them of everything. They were thankful to know, and it helped to get their support. It was also nice to get that double confirmation that there's no history of cervical cancer in my family. I already had known that, but it never hurts to hear it again. 

Now, we wait again. At least I know that even if I have to have some cervical cells frozen that I'll still be able to have children, most likely. My reproductive organs are going to stay inside of me since we've started all this stuff so early on. For that, I am so thankful. It does suck that I'm going to have another few days of spotting, though!

Stats:
-CD 10: spotting due to colposcopy
-71 days until we're TTC
-15 days until our follow-up appointment

Monday, October 20, 2008

One More Day

The big day is tomorrow. I'm so ready for it to be over with. Strangely enough, I don't feel as scared as I did a few days ago, but I'm getting really nervous. I've been doing pretty good with keeping myself occupied to help time go by as quickly as possible. Anything to get it to where it's wednesday already! J and I have dentist appointments this afternoon, so that should be fun (ugh). At least it'll make a few hours fly by and then J will be home for the evening! We've been on a binge of watching The Office the last few days (just caught up on Heroes), so we'll probably have another fun evening of watching that. We're already on season 3! Mostly, it just sucks that I could have already known the results of the colposcopy by now if darn AF hadn't showed up last weekend! Of course, then I would still be thinking I was pregnant. Not a bad thing if my results are okay, but I would be nervous/excited! 

I was feeling pretty confident about my chart this month (it's my 2nd month charting and off of NuvaRing) since it was following a very similar pattern to last months. The last two days have made a slight change, though, so we'll see if everything is relatively similar! I was kinda liking having my O day be the last day of every month. As long as I do O, though, I'm fine. I'll just have to wait and see how Cycle 2 TTA goes.

Stats:
-CD 9
-72 days until we're TTC

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Too Much/Too Little

I'm finally done with my first AF post-NuvaRing. It wasn't horrible, though CD 1 was not my favorite day ever. The worst was 3 days of spotting-ugh. I am thankful that it was only spotting and not full on AF, but still. That's a bit ridiculous. I'm glad that's over, at least I hope it is. 

It's finally saturday. I'm glad this week has gone by as quickly as it has, but I fear the next four days are going to drag on. I've been trying to keep myself as entertained as possible to avoid thinking of what could happen with my colposcopy on tuesday, but I always seem to fail. I was stupid the other night and researched what "could be." The worst that could happen for me, since it's (providing there is an "it=cervical cancer") being found so early, it would be having my entire reproductive system removed. At least it's not life threatening! I was devestated, though. J keeps telling me to stop thinking that way, but I can't help it. I've always expected the worst and hoped for the best. I've always had this dark fear in the back of my mind that something would be wrong, and I would never be able to have children. Here's hoping I'm wrong!! 

I had this crazy dream the other night that my results came back, and I did have cancer. My doctor told me that I had no more than a year to have a baby before I'd have to have the surgery, giving us until January to get pregnant. My doctor then decided that our best option would be to just do invitro, so we scrambled around the rest of the day and went with it (of course, it happened to be the day I was Oing). We ended up pregnant with quintuplets! It was pretty exciting, I must say. I had a C-section, and they removed my reproductive system at the same time. Not the most ideal birth, but I was just excited that I got to have children! I've been feeling a little better since the dream, even though it was extremely far-fetched! 

I just need to get through today! I have stuff planned for the next 2 1/2!

Stats:
-CD 7
-74 days until TTC!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Darn AF

Today was the day that my colposcopy was scheduled for. Remember how AF showing up was salt in my wounds from the weekend? Well, add a bit more salt because I'm not sure she's even around anymore. J did end up having a long meeting to go to at work, so I guess it's all still for the best. I'm just ready to get it over with and either start dealing with what they find or move on with my life! Ugh! 

Yesterday and tomorrow, however, are great days to keep my mind off of the procedure. On the days that my mom can't do it, I get to babysit my awesome niece! She'll be 2 in January, and we have the best time. As she agrees to, we're best friends. Though, while it's awesome to hang out and play with her (watching her wake up from her nap yesterday was the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life), it makes it really hard to wait until January to TTC. I want my own Aly! J and I went to watch her in her little gymnastics class last night, and it's hard to see all those little kids and their parents having the greatest time when I want to be one of them. Soon enough, I guess!

Stats:
-CD 4: AF?
-77 days until we're TTC!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Up and Down weekend

Let's start with thursday. Woke up, took my temperature. It's the 3rd high temperature in a row- much higher than they had been. So, when I entered it into FF, my crosshairs moved. Of course, they were moved right to where we had enjoyed an "afternoon delight" (as J describes it) the day after the supposed O. Unexpected, since we're avoiding until January, but I got my hopes up nonetheless.

Then, I was woken up friday morning with a phone call from my ob/gyn's office saying that my pap results came back slightly abnormal. So, I scheduled a colposcopy for this wednesday afternoon. Freaked me out, but I got it all figured out so that J could go to the appointment with me. I know that I'll need him, especially if he finds something. The whole day, I can't help but keep thinking that I've got something going on down there (ie- cervical cancer), and I could be pregnant. Great. A big change for one day.

Saturday, I go shopping with a good friend and then J and I go look at some houses (we're looking to buy in a few months). It was a good distraction day. We get home late and I notice I'm spotting, which brings everything to the foreground again. I tell J that it's either the early signs of AF (it was my first cycle off of BC, so I had no idea what my body would do) or could be implantation spotting, even though it was only 5 DPO.

Sunday: It was AF. Horrible cramping. It sucked.

While I'm glad that AF came, and I don't have to worry about being pregnant along with whatever could come up from my procedure, I'm a bit bummed. I allowed myself to get excited that there was the possibility. Salt in the wound? I had to push back my procedure to next tuesday since I'll still be on AF on wednesday, most likely. Ugh. Hopefully, J will still be able to go with me.

Stats:
-CD 2- AF
-79 days until we're TTC!

First post

I've noticed that a lot of people have blogs describing their personal TTC process, and I think it would be a great way to express how I'm feeling/going through! The husband can't talk about it all the time, and we're not telling anybody else that we're going to be trying. So, it's either a blog or our dog. Sadly, I don't think Coco cares too much. Here's our story:

J and I met in 6th grade, but we were pretty much acquaintances all through middle school. I developed the most massive crush ever on him right before we started 9th grade. Turns out, he had a crush on me, too, but didn't want to admit it to himself. He'd already decided that he didn't want to date anybody else unless he thought that it could be serious. We became best friends and eventually took the step to dating in the beginning of 11th grade. Fast forward to this August, we got married after dating for almost 6 years!! We always knew that we wanted to have children sooner rather than later. First, both of our parents are quite a bit older than most, and we want our children to have them in their lives as long as possible. Second, both my mom, his mom, and my sister had a lot of problems getting pregant or with their pregnancy, so we wanted to start early just in case there's issues. That brings us to now- we've only been married for a little over 2 months, but we're ready for our first.

I went off of NuvaRing (after only being on it two months) at the end of August to start the regulation process, since I know it can take awhile. Surprisingly, I've already finished my first cycle of 31 days, and I ovulated! I've had extremely irregular periods since I first started menstruating, so both J and I were shocked that the first cycle was so easy. We'll see if that continues! We're going to begin actively trying in January 2009, and if my cycle remains around what it was, then our first ovulation that we'd be trying would be on January 1st. Pretty exciting!

Stats:
-CD 2: AF
-79 days until we're actively TTC!