Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Waiting Game

It's finally over. I had my colposcopy this afternoon. I can't say that it was the greatest thing I've ever done, but it wasn't too horrible. My doctor told me that it was probably nothing, but he wanted to make sure. I had a biopsy done on two spots, which was definitly the worst part. It didn't really hurt hurt, but it was an uncomfortable pain. J was able to go with me, and I'm so glad. I don't think I could have done that alone. He wasn't able to comfort me in the way that we had both planned, however, but he did a great job at distracting me and making me worry about him instead of what was happening with me. He made the mistake of looking at the tool that they use to perform the biopsy, so that, along with all of the emotions and knowledge of what they were going to do to me, caused him to faint. All of the sudden, he let go of my hand and there was this huge thud behind me. Of course, I couldn't see him. He got up a few seconds later with a slightly bloody chin and some scrapes, but he's okay. I'm still worried about a concussion, but he sits here playing a video game, so I suppose he's fine. The fainting incident and the fact that some of the biopsy things weren't cooperating made the procedure go a little longer than normal, but it's all over now. Thank god. J and I hung out in the room for about 20 minutes with the nurses taking care of us until we were both back to normal (I got faint after it was over- losing blood and such). J had gotten faint again when they said that I would have to wear a pad- brought it all back to this mind. Poor thing. We have an appointment scheduled in 2 weeks to go over the results and perform a freezing procedure if the results come back positive for cervical cancer. I should be getting a call sometime early next week if those results come back, though, so I can prepare a little bit. 

We hadn't told anybody anything since we were hoping he would see, through the colposcopy, that there was nothing, and it wouldn't have been a big deal. Since there's something, though, however obsolete it might end up being, we went to my parent's house afterwards and informed them of everything. They were thankful to know, and it helped to get their support. It was also nice to get that double confirmation that there's no history of cervical cancer in my family. I already had known that, but it never hurts to hear it again. 

Now, we wait again. At least I know that even if I have to have some cervical cells frozen that I'll still be able to have children, most likely. My reproductive organs are going to stay inside of me since we've started all this stuff so early on. For that, I am so thankful. It does suck that I'm going to have another few days of spotting, though!

-CD 10: spotting due to colposcopy
-71 days until we're TTC
-15 days until our follow-up appointment

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